The Ginger
by NippleFest
Summary: A stoic, expressionless man meets a straightforward, loveable, seven year old ginger. Fluff ensues and Kisame chokes.


_**LOOOOLLL**_

Tried summin' kinda normal?  
RIGHT NEXT IS SOME HARDCORE CRACK. BRING IT.  
Byebyebyebyebeyebeyeeebyebeyb.

* * *

Itachi liked to think of himself as a normal man. Well, normal of the sorts. Despite slaughtering his whole family, being stoic, and just all around psychopathic, he was, indeed, quite a normal man. Kind of.

Well, the cause of him questioning his mentality was in fact, just a simple child. A child simpler than simple. Abnormally simple. The type of kid pummelling their face with sticky sweets. Or riding a bike type of normal.

Itachi, stoic as usual, was sitting on a bench, alone. Like the _normal_ man he was, he just sat there, with a firm posture, pondering about life. He was travelling with Kisame, on a mission to skewer streets for information on the eight-tails. Not that he cared about that at the moment. All he gave a rat's ass about was his luscious dango he held.

He stared at the glistening lake not far in front of him and inwardly sighed with slight happiness. He was not a man to sigh happily in public, for he was an Uchiha. Although the Uchiha's may have become on the verge of extinction, he was a proud man. A proud man with standards. Sighing in this commoner air was beneath him. He thought this way because he was normal. A normal man. With standards.

"Hey dude, you're weird."

The sound of this voice caused him to snap out of his daydreaming. He never jolted with surprise though. Uchiha's never jump. Nor do they get caught by surprise. Or daydream. Itachi felt disgusted with himself for being startled. Maybe he was getting old. At twenty. He inwardly sighed for a completely opposite reason.

He stared at the child, eyes unreadable. Normally, staring into Itachi's eyes cause the majority of people to run for the hills. But no, this kid had balls. Premature balls, but balls non-the-less. The boy had to be no less than seven. He had bright orange hair, with tinted pink cheeks, not unusual within the community of gingers. The orbs of this ginger shone impeccably with a cyan tone, full of youth. The kid was perched on top of a bike, slightly leaning to one side. He was also sucking on a bright, big lollypop, with a comical grin sewed onto his face.

Itachi grunted with disinterest, hoping the boy would ride on, leaving him alone in peace. Like any normal man would want.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to ya," the boy exclaimed, hobbling closer with his bike.

He would ride on soon, he knew it. Itachi felt slightly out of his comfort zone though, for he had never witnessed someone forcing themselves onto him like this.

He continued to chew on his dango delicately, attempting to ignore the blazing ginger.

"You're mean," the boy pouted and got off of his bike, strolling up to Itachi. He pulled out his lollypop and waved it in Itachi's face.

"Wanna bit?" the ginger grinned with genuine friendliness making Itachi smile inwardly. He had a soft for kids, not that he would tell anyone; not that he knew himself actually, he unconsciously inwardly smiled.

"No," Itachi spoke quietly. Maybe if he spoke with disinterest, the pest would buzz off?

"Oh, so ya can speak then?" the ginger laughed to himself and then grinned at the intimidating man.

"Please, go run along and play with your friends," Itachi spoke, no emotion detected.

"I ain't got no friends, I'm new 'round 'ere," the boy pouted and stared at the man with glistening, blue eyes, "Can I hang out with ya? Ya look lonely too! And bored! Snap!"

"I'm not lonely."

"But y'all quiet an' that. Wanna go on m'bike?"

Itachi stared at the boy before solidly saying no. No normal man rides a bike.

The ginger sat down on the wooden bench and faced Itachi whilst sticking out his hand.

"The names Harry," he grinned, innocently.

Itachi thought of Sasuke. Despite the complete differences in nature, from what he gathered, one being loud and cocky and the othe- actually, they were more similar than he thought. The eyes of Harry resembled Sasuke as a child. Innocent, full of life.. and annoying.

"Hey, can I have one 'o them balls please?" the ginger asked, staring at the three dango balls left on the stick. He offered out his lolly, expecting to exchange.

Itachi once again sighed inwardly, and then took a dango ball off of his stick and handed it to the ginger.

"Aww, sweet! Thanks! You can have me lolly if ya want," Harry said, gobbling on dango.

"No thank you, you may keep it," Itachi spoke, staring at the boy.

"You're weird ya know. No normal dude speaks like that. Or looks like that."

"..What?"

"What I mean is, ya speak too posh. Ya know, formal. Too formal," the ginger explained, glaring at Itachi, a teacher's determination sparkling in his eyes.

"An' also, ya hair's too long. Ya look like a manly woman!"

Itachi scoffed, unable to hold it in. A manly woman? He was a normal man! Weird, manly woman!

"Not ta offend ya like," the ginger giggled nervously, seeing a dark glint in Itachi's eye, "I know, want me ta give ya a hair cut?"

"..No."

"Oh. Can tie it up then? I have bobbles in ma pocket!"

Itachi was a loss for words. Was he supposed to agree to this? Of course not, he was normal. No normal man wants their hair styled by a seven year old ginger brat.

"Pwetty Pwease..?" Harry said, fake tears forming in his eyes.

"No."

"Ah, damn. Ya spoilt sport! What's ya name anyway?"

"…Kanaki," Itachi lied. Like he was going to go round spewing out his real name to strangers.

"Kanaki.. cool name! Hey, why do ya have lines on ya face?"

How was he meant to answer that?

"Lack of sleep I suppose," Itachi guessed. Maybe he was right, or he was just born weird. But wait.. does this make him abnormal? This kid, pointing out his faults, is making him seem less and less like a normal man. A kid is getting the better of him. He is being ridiculed by a seven year old. What. The. Fuck.

"Want some gum? I got a pack o' gum in ma pocket. Bit warm like but don't matter," the ginger smiled.

"Okay," Itachi said, surprising himself. Why did he accept? It will only make him stick around longer. He inwardly shot himself.

Harry passed him a slightly crushed piece of gum. He unwrapped it and paused, noticing the ginger staring at this act with great concentration. Did he poison it or something? Itachi shrugged his ridiculous worries off and up the gum into his mouth.

"Nice, huh? Found the packet on the floor before. One piece was missin' like, but I thought, the hell with it and took 'em anyway!" he shouted, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

As soon as those words sprouted out of the boy's mouth, Itachi spat the gum out in disgust. He had chewed commoner gum. Not only commoner gum, but commoner gum found randomly on the floor. All within ten seconds, he did two things he was completely ashamed of. Eat homeless gum and spit. He just spat. Itachi Uchiha spat. Spat. It was almost a foreign word to him. Spat. He couldn't believe it.

"What didya do that for, eh! That piece o' gum was a gooden!"

"You shouldn't pick things up from the floor, boy. You may catch something."

"But it's wrapped! Canne catch somethin' when it's wrapped!"

Itachi sighed. Then died inside again. He sighed. OUTWARDLY. He facepalmed with disgust. Then almost puked when he realised he did that in public too.

"Told ya you're weird. Ya keep doin' weird things." The ginger pointed out.

"No I do not. I'm not weird."

"Ya are! Ya completely weird!"

"Do you consider yourself to be weird, kid?" Itachi asked the ginger.

"I'm weird too," the ginger said, looking down, the perky voice slightly decreasing.

"Why is that?"

"I have ginger hair. An' I been told I'm too blunt. Which is why I canne get any friends. 'Coz o' bluntness. Truth jus' pops out though, ya know?"

Itachi slightly smiled. No friends. Why didn't he find that surprising?

"Hey, I know! Wanna be ma friend?"

"…"

"Aww, go on! I mean, no offence, but ya don't look the type ta have friends. I can be ya best friend! Ya don't have one already do ya? I did once but he ditched me.." Harry rambled, going off on his own little world.

"So waddaya say? I'll give ya me gum packet!"

"Fine, but only for the next half an hour. Then you're completely irrelevant to me," Itachi spoke harshly, he didn't want to sound cheesy. He didn't want to say this either. Was he possessed? He was on a mission and now he's got a freakin' seven year old ginger as a BFF.

"Sweet! So, can I tie ya hair now, Kanaki?"

Itachi twitched with annoyance. What had he gotten himself in to? Why didn't he just keep quiet! He turned his head slightly and let Harry tug at his hair.

"Woah, you're such a girl! Only a girl would keep hair as soft as this."

"Hn." If only Kisame could see him now.

Suddenly a frail, feminine voice could be heard though the trees. Harry cried with annoyance and moaned loudly.

"Aww.. Ma found me, I gotta get back. Hey Kanaki? You'll be here tomorrow right? Ya will won't ya?" Harry pleaded, eyes twinkling.

"I don't know.."

"Aww, please! I'll bring ya a lollypop, jus' like mine! I'll buy ya the most colourful!"

Itachi suddenly felt awkward for some reason, and decided he wanted to come back. Why did he want to come back tomorrow? Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he just enjoyed the boy's company.. in a weird way. Or maybe.. he didn't have another reason. Actually, maybe he just missed Sasuke. Or perhaps it's all three. Kisame was his loyal friend, but he was no where near a cute, small, younger brother. Far from it. He stared at the ginger's desperate face. Is this kid really that needy? It wouldn't be good if he got attached to him, but for some reason he said okay.

"R-Really! Great! It's a promise! See ya tomorrow Kanaki!" Harry yowled with glee, waving wildly at Itachi, running to the soothing voice of his mother.

Itachi just watched the boy run with warm, non-stoic eyes.

* * *

Itachi finally met up with Kisame and shared the information they have gathered from their quest to capture eight-tails.

"You got anything?" Kisame asked, sharky features scrunched up into a grin.

"Nothing as of yet."

"Same."

Itachi stared at him and nodded, expressionless.

"Hey Itachi, should we travel to the next village?" Kisame questioned as the two walked down the deserted pavement, "I don't think fuck all is here, honestly."

"No, just one more day, then we'll move on," Itachi said. He did have a promise to keep after all. An Uchiha never breaks his promise, no matter how much he was forced into it.

"Sure."

The two carried on walking in silence, and Itachi started pondering about his mental state again.

"..Kisame?"

"Yeah?"

Itachi gazed at the stony pathway before making Kisame choke with a question he would have never expected to hear from the extremely stoic man.

"..Am I weird?"


End file.
